I have loved. I loved a man. And now as this relationship ends I wonder…ponder…become curious. My last night with him and all he can do is accuse me of being human, I was not the perfect angel he thought I’d be… Am I not perfect? I am not perfect. But that is ok. I have made mistakes, paid my dues and now my heart is breaking.
I have never loved someone so much and been hurt so much. If I leave with anything it is to say that these past four years were not a waste. They were some of the best memories made but now I have grown. We have grown apart. I do not love him any less but I do not love him the same.
This is a journal entry of thoughts he doesn’t believe me on and will never bother looking.
Scared and confused I walk around emotionally withdrawn from the world. I smile a fake wide mouthed grin at strangers and cry inside. Never will I be prepared but long have I sought refuge from my damp reality of falling out of love. The awakening is awkward and disjointed. An intangible cosmic rush that collides with my heart and mind breaking them apart into different galaxies.
The stars are my haven and looking to them makes me feel grounded. I am stranded in space and relate. I make rationalist ideas on irrational probability. Much like falling in love is falling out of love. It’s a hard smack to the face, a punch to the gut and a feeling of repressed emotions and memories.
But it’s worth it…
If only you love for a second it is worth a lifetime.
Woke up this morning in a wonderful baking mood!
Made some mighty delicious and very savory blue cheese, toasted walnut cookies with a honey glaze and walnut topping.
Can you say “euphoric!” “Amazin’” “finger-lickin goodness”-well if you get the chance to try one you will be honoring those words in the correct context!
That’s all folks,
Sideways and a 1960s pale pink.
One of those glorious days when your mind is stuck in the past but your feet are in the present and your eyes look at the future.
One of those days.
- Looking for some new styles in performing arts.
- This could include costume design, film, fashion shows, theater,
- Etc. anyone have any news/updates on the fresh art scenes?